Saturday, August 25, 2012

So how's the Norwex? And how about that writing?

I know it's been a long time since I talked about what I've been doing with Norwex. I started selling in February of this year, and yes I'm still doing it. I've hesitated talking much about it, since I really wanted this site to remain personal, and not too sales-pitchy. That's just me :)

Anyway, I started out strong and had a great couple of months of lining up parties, making sales and have had some decent commissions come in. I also had some dud parties that cost me more than I made, but thankfully those were few and far between. I learned some lessons fast the hard way and I came to the conclusion that I'm a terrible sales person! Haha. 

I still LOVE Norwex, and I believe in it 100%. I use it everywhere in my home and find it superior to anything else I've tried that's similar. That said, I just am not motivated enough to talk people into throwing parties for me. I can do it. I have done it. I just psych myself out that my friends, family and their friends and family are going to start screening their calls and avoiding me! Haha. Why do I fear that? Because I over-analyze EVERYTHING. And yes, I do mean everything.

Anyway, when I've put myself out there, I've done pretty well. I find that the more motivated I am, the better I explain things and the better my hostesses do. There is the occasional exception to this, but for the most part that's held true. I think I'll continue to do it, but to what degree, I'm not sure. I could see myself being successful with it and doing quite well financially, but that does have some drawbacks for me. The first drawback is that I'm definitely out of my comfort zone! Another is that I am less available to the kids and they hate that. It doesn't kill them though, much as they think so. And then there is that fact that I'm worried about the other dream I have going unfulfilled. Not that I've done much with that anyway. Okay, I'll admit it now, I'm a coward and have done little to nothing with that dream.

I'm filled constantly with all of these story ideas. They even keep me awake at times as I plot them out in my head. I should be running downstairs when that happens and start pounding away at the keys here. But I don't. Usually I'll just go take a Benedryl to knock myself out so I can sleep (hah!). It took me a while to admit why. I've said in the past that it's because don't have enough free time and I get cranky when I'm interrupted while writing (and that's certainly true), but I could still do it and just try harder to be patient to overcome those things. I've come to accept, as I've made myself think about it, that what the real issue here is that I'm afraid to fail. What if I'm not as good as I think I am? Or rather, as good as others have told me I am (and I so want to believe them)? 

If I take the time to write those stories, and flesh them out into novels and nothing happens, then I feel like I've taken that time away from my family for nothing. I hate that idea. And I so don't want to let anyone down either. But then I keep telling myself that I'm letting them down by not following through with my dream. If you don't try, you already failed, right?

So now comes the question of which road to focus on, and how much time should be dedicated to each pursuit? Is it possible to balance family, writing and sales? Or does one of those things have to go? Obviously the family part is non-negotiable and I wouldn't want to lose that part of my life anyway (it's the best part!). For me, this isn't an easy decision. Any thoughts, ideas or motivating phrases for me? I can certainly use all I can get right now!